Dance Like No One's Watching

More and more, I've come to realize that having a child is by far the most amazing thing I've ever done in my life. It hasn't been a perfect experience, not even close. But it has been perfectly imperfect. It was a surprise when I became pregnant at 21. I will never say she was a mistake, because: 1) I believe in God's timing and 2) not once have I ever regretted having her. She is my world. We argue like crazy some days, but there is nothing in the world like hearing "I love you, Mommy," no matter what is going on.

She has always been an intelligent, inquisitive and spirited child and at times, leaps and bounds ahead of her peers in development. I have rarely ever used "baby-talk" with her, except maybe in her first few months of life. This resulted in a child who could converse with adults relatively easily since she was quite young. 

Now as we begin to enter the tween/teen years, in some ways she is still unusually mature for her age. However, in other ways...well, she's 11 going on 25. She thinks she can take on the world. She can be selfish at times and her mood swings are killer. She's a girl so she's loud and squeals and giggles like a maniac when something sets her off. And like other kids of almost every age, she gets whiny, hungry, tired, snarky, and sometimes she even has to pee. And guess what? Since she is a child, she has to voice these things to me or whatever adult she is with (ie: teachers, friends' parents), because that is how children have their needs tended to. They can't just internalize it like most adults do. Occasionally, there is no excuse for her whining. When that happens, I am sure to bring that to her attention. Sometimes though, just like adults, she is overwhelmed, overstimulated or just plain tired.

What most don't realize is that she is also so incredibly sensitive as she lets very few see that side of her. My daughter has a huge heart. She's immensely compassionate. She is incredibly astute at reading people, especially me. And even a harsh tone of voice can sometimes be hurtful to her. She, like her mother, usually wears a mask of indifference when people (of any age) hurt her feelings in one way or another. It is not until we are alone that she admits to me how deeply something someone has said or done has affected her, at times with tears. And that breaks my heart into pieces.

I guess some just don't understand that her actions are completely normal for her age. Yes, I do expect her to behave. But I also expect and want her to act like a child. If she wants to dance in public, by all means, go for it! If she wants to laugh and squeal and have fun...as long as she doesn't scream to the top of her lungs inside my car or a home (mainly because she has a "Janet Leigh in Psycho" scream), I'm fine with squealing. I think this world would be a happier, healthier place if more parents would allow their children to be children while they can and let them be silly. If only more people would be understanding of that, instead of many wanting them to be "seen but not heard". My daughter dances and skips through Target and as long as she's not in anybody's way or knocking anything over, who the hell cares who's watching or what they have to say about it?!